A SHADOW OF JOY FLICKERED; IT IS ME!

I told you I wouldn't leave.
My memories, my thoughts are
embedded deep in our heart.
I still love you.
Do not for one moment think that you
have been abandoned.
I am in the Light.
In the corner, in the hall, the car, the
yard-
These are the places I stay with you.
My spirit rises every time you pray for
me,
But my energy comes closer to you.
Love does not diminish, it grows
stronger.
I am the feather that finds you in the
yard,
the dimmed light that grows brighter in
your mind,
I place our memories for you to see.
We lived in our special way,
a way that now has its focus changed.
I still crave your understanding
and long for the many words of prayer
and good fortune for my soul.
I am in the Light.
As you struggle to adjust without me,
I watch silently.
Sometimes I summon up all the strength
of my new world
to make you notice me.
Impressed by your grief,
I try to impress my love deeper into your
consciousness.
As you should, I call out to the Heavens
for help.
You should know that the fountain of
youth does exist.
My soul is now healthy.
Your love sends me newfound energy.
I am adjusting to this new world.
I am with you and I am in the Light.
Please don't feel bad that you can't see
me.
I am with you wherever you go.
I protect you,
just as you protected me so many times.
Talk to me and somehow I will find a
way to answer you.
Mother, father, son or daughter, it makes
no difference.
Brother, sister, lover, husband or wife, it
makes no difference.
Whatever our connection--friend or
even foe--I see you with my new eyes.
I am learning to help wherever you are,
wherever I am needed.
This can be done because I am in the
Light.
When you feel despair, reach out to me.
I will come.
My love for you really does transcend
from Heaven to Earth.
Finish your life with the enthusiasm and
zest that you had when we were together
in the physical sense.
You owe this to me, but more
importantly,
You owe it to yourself.
Life continues for both of us.
I am with you because I love you

And I am in the Light.


Our Jim's birthday is today, February 1st...and he is another year older. I am sure he is celebrating this special day with his grandparents, friends and a host of angels. As Jim continues to grow in spirit, he also continues to touch our hearts...how grateful I am that this little boy; this young man came to be my son. Happy birthday my sweetheart! I love you...

Nearly one year...

Our Jim was one of several young people from Meadville who passed away in 2005. We lost Jimmy on March 3rd...Shortly thereafter, a young lady named Camrie passed, only to be followed by Lenny on April 11th. Lenny's mother Linda and I have known each other for nearly 22 years...An entire lifetime of hockey at the "rink" in Meadville. Later in the summer, Betty lost her young son Chase...And Vickie and Keith lost their Shawn. So many young lives... And most of them knew each other in one way or another...Either through school, sports, siblings, or their parents. Camrie's parents are in Hawaii this week, searching for peace. On this past Monday, Kathy called and shared that she and Camrie's father placed four beautiful and fragrant blue orchids afloat in the Pacific! One, in memory of their daughter, and the other three, for Lenny, Chase, and my Jim! I will be in Florida on March 3rd for a vigil at the spot where Jimmy passed to his new life. There will be Masses for him at St. James, which is but a mile or two away, on March 2nd as well as the 3rd. On the evening of the 3rd, Leah, her mother Jackie, and I will surely enjoy one of Jim's favorite meals and then head to the beach for a Florida sunset...And I will send five white roses adrift in the Gulf...For Jimmy and his four friends eternal...Another little way to let them know how much we love them!

2005~2006

Last New Years eve Jimmy had plans in Pittsburgh with friends and told me he would not be home for dinner on New Years day. Only once did he ever miss dinner with our family on that holiday and he was excused! Three years ago, he spent the week between Christmas and New Years with his Keri in New York! He so loved that trip...I remember him telling me that Keri told him to be prepared because her mom would have fresh flowers in his room for him! Jim loved fresh flowers! He had a great time with Keri's family and truly enjoyed being there. I do remember him calling me for the stuffed mushroom recipe! He loved to cook for his friends. He enjoyed New Years eve but I know that this trip to New York found him dreadfully ill with food poisoning. The family had dined at a restaurant and Jim's meal did not agree with him! He had been so ill that Keri's mom took him to the emergency room. One very sick Jim! That was 2003... Last year, as I said, Jim had plans and was not coming home. His brothers, Frank and Gabe were here and we were just getting seated for dinner at Uncle Russ's home, when there was a knock at the door and in came my Jim!!! I was so absolutely excited! Thrilled to have him there with us and really so completely excited at the surprise! I remember how I kissed him and hugged and held him so tight! It was wonderful! Thank you Jimmy... for that memory. Bless you little son!